WHY

Shortly after asking my parents to read the book, they were on speakerphone together with me (as they do). My dad was joking/not-joking about being uncomfortable reading about lesbians and my mom asked "Why did you write this book?" Not in mean, discouraging way, but a bit baffled why a young lesbian identity and faith crisis was a topic that I cared enough about to spend a good chunk of my spare time writing. My answer, in short:

I read this report a few years ago about the number of teen suicides in Utah pretty much directly linked to them being gay and LDS. I'd heard plenty of criticism of the Church about homosexuality with Prop 8 and the fight for marriage equality across the country, but it had never occurred to me how the experience of gay Mormons is so so so challenging. I felt devastated at the report and couldn't stop thinking about it. What if I were gay? What if I had to figure out how I could know the Church was true but the Church was telling me something fundamental about me was off? Not just off, bad. There's a story there, about the people who face this challenge and I felt prompted to tell it. 

Here's the report analysis, it's got all sorts of graphs and charts and statistical analyses. 

ReligionNews did a digestible breakdown (one of several that came out about this time). Here are several key points:

1. Youth in the 15-19 age group who live in states with heavy Mormon populations are at higher risk for suicide. As Knoll put it, “These are objectively small numbers, but it means that (again, controlling for other factors) youth suicides are twice as high in states with the highest levels of Mormon residents compared to states with the lowest levels of Mormon residents.”
2. This association did not exist in any statistically significant way in 2009. Take a look at the second of the charts in Knoll’s post, which shows the greater frequency of teen suicide in 2014 versus 2009 in Mormon-heavy states such as Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, Nevada, and Alaska. In those states, teen suicide is increasing at higher rates than it is in many (not all) other states; in Utah the rate has actually doubled since 2009.
3. It is impossible to tell from this data whether there is a link to LGBT teens. The Center for Disease Control, which tracks suicides and other causes of death, does not include sexual orientation as a factor in its records. We simply don’t know whether there is an LGBT connection, though the indirect and anecdotal evidence recounted here certainly suggests it.
4. We don’t know the religion of the teens committing suicide. This study only shows definitively that all youth who live in areas with higher Mormon populations are at a greater risk for suicide, not that it’s Mormon teens in those states who are killing themselves. Knoll explains it is “impossible to definitely know from this data” whether a) a higher concentration of Mormons in a community drives more Mormon youth suicides; b) that same higher concentration actually causes more non-Mormon kids to commit suicide; or c) some combination of A and B.
5. This finding does not have anything to do with the LDS Church’s LGBT policy change in November 2015. Remember that this study only tracks suicide rates through 2014, which is the last year for which national stats are available. Knoll says that further research would need to be done to investigate any possible link there.

Knoll concludes his summary by saying that the research “is not intended to condemn. Rather, it is presented to contribute to the conversation on this important topic that literally has life-and-death implications. It is clear that there is a problem. The more information we have available to us the sooner we can craft an effective solution.”

I'll just repeat and bold that last part: 
"...the research “is not intended to condemn. Rather, it is presented to contribute to the conversation on this important topic that literally has life-and-death implications."

​This is why.